Sunday, August 31, 2008

I Love Old Music Videos

Sorry that it wasn't really Chevy singing, Tabby! Hehehe

Friday, August 29, 2008

I Love The Randomizer

I can't remember exactly what "The Randomizer" does, but I'll be damned if I don't want to play some Toejam & Earl right now to find out. I dare the Nerd Herd to try and run me over tonight!

I CONQUERED my food safety class test today. Who studies? Bite me, ACHD.

The Monterey Pub is a nice place to meet Phillipino guys named Michael who can be both hyper-intelligent and a fellow fan of the movie, "Mean Girls."

I love the peaceful feeling I get on the Mexican War Streets. That is, I will until I get shot there.

I am growing closer to becoming farther from my wisdom teeth. Joy.

I totally forgot about the deaf chick, Linda, from Sesame Street.

Heart is still one of my favorite bands. While I prefer 70's Heart to 80's Heart, I really can't argue with "Never" or "Alone."

I miss the old Phishin days. Friends, drugs, makeshift tents, naked people making grilled cheese outside of their school bus, feeling like the whole concert was a giant spaceship destined to return me to my home planet - all gold, my loves, all gold!

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack is the finest new kids cartoon. I love adventure! And candy!

I now feel the need to join my husband, brother-and-law, and my BFF on the back porch to hear what battle of male wits is taking place out there.

I grok that beer is goodness.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I Love This Email

A girlfriend of mine sent this email to me and several other gals, including her mother. That pushed it over the edge into poetry for me. Kudos to the author, who is now my hero of the day.


"so one of you sluts is a HUGE benedict arnold!!! i had a dream last night that one of you whores (not sure which one cause i couldn't see the beotchs face) left your significant other to be with someone else??? and you wanted to introduce the new hottie (and i mean the hottest guy ever) at your next pool party (the pool situation is making me lean towards one individual already) anyway so everyone arrives at the bbq/pool party and i'm the last to get there of course, and the secret lover is none other then my true love JAMES GARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGE BETRAYAL HUGE!!!!!!!! i mean that is just way below the belt ladies, if it was [her man's name] that one of you prostitutes would have taken then there might just have been words over it, BUT I'LL STAB A BITCH FOR JAMES!!!!!!!!!!!! FESS UP HUSSIES!!!! and i find it peculiar that one of you is pregs and the affair was a secret for months before the pool party???"

My friend was a big fan of The Rockford Files, as you can see.

Now off for some Dairy Queen to numb my face.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I Hate I Hate I Hate ( I Love Ranting)

It's been an interesting (and annoying) couple of days. I donned my "hat of neighborhood pride" to attend a West View planning meeting last night. Today, I spent 8 hours in a food safety class, bored out of my skull. Both have only added more fuel to the Libertarian fire that is Nicole.

I have a business in West View. It's a lovely little town with a lot of heart and history. They're in need of certain appearance "upgrades." This is what the meeting was about. The hired architects made their presentation to the few of us business owners (very few) and residents (even fewer) who bothered to show up. It was nothing but good ideas. Not a surprise there, since this was a private business trying to please a client in the ultimate attempt to get paid. That's always a good dynamic that I stand behind.

I made some observations:

These improvements to the town will be pricey. The only hope of securing funds is to apply for government grants. This is sickening to me, as this money should have remained in the town to begin with. Taxes are paid to the Federal government and so these things become a government concern. But why should they care about the little town of West View? No reason, which is why they don't. But we will jump through these hoops and beg them for our money anyway, because the money is no longer in the hands of those that know how to use it. If I am not allowed to take my neighbor's money and make him beg me to have it back, then why is the government allowed to do it? Someone please explain it to me. I'm dying for an answer that I know doesn't exist.

The architect kept making references to "ordinances and codes." To make the town look better, maybe we need to "tighten up" on these things. This was his suggestion. He repeated the sentiment several times throughout his presentation. My curiosity is simple. If the current ordinances and codes aren't cutting it, then what in the world would make anyone think that "tightening them up" will make a difference? They aren't respected now, and they won't be respected even after tons of taxpayer money is dumped into this suggested "tightening." My suggestion? If we are so annoyed with these run down properties, why don't we go and offer to help fix them up or raise money to buy them? It's worth a try, right? It's called personal responsibility. Not much left, anymore.

When people are paying taxes, they expect action for the things that THEY care about. While this is understandable, it is rarely a reality. Uncle Sam is a poor businessman who cares little for customer service. One fellow at the meeting was irritated that one of his neighbors was letting some property go to shit. He voiced this to one official who proceeded to squirm while working up a satisfactory response. The government man explained all of the procedures and all of the paperwork to the resident. The resident became agitated and suggested that MORE needed to be done. Why doesn't this resident offer to help his neighbor? Because he is required by law to pay his government to take care of it. And it doesn't get taken care of. What is going on here? It's simple, but I don't think too many people get it. If you're not following me by now, you are hopeless.

Next subject:

The Allegheny County Health Department requires businesses like my AntiquiTea to certify members of their staff in food safety. Why? Well, I learned the pathetic and laughable reasons today in my 8 hours of hell! Only 8 hours more to go next Friday.

I learned a statistic today. 5000 people in the US die from food borne illness each year. This statistic was presented to me in such a way that it should strike fear into my heart. My reaction was a simple, "So what?" That's called nature, people! Many of those unfortunates were probably elderly or had weakened immune systems to begin with (they were on their way out). Sorry, I lack compassion. Whatever. People die. There are worse ways to go than from food poisoning.

I also learned something else. Outbreaks are on the increase. There have been several recent bacterial outbreaks caused by foods that were once considered harmless. What does this say to me? It says I don't need to be sitting there all day wasting my time! It says that all of their attempts at educating us for prevention have amounted to nothing! Bad things are going to happen, whether we try to avoid them or not. Accept it and move on.

I sat and listened to a couple of freaky, germophobic health inspectors tell me anecdotes about how they are screwing up their children in their war against bacteria. One told a story about how she overheard her son ask if he could lick the batter bowl from some cookies and, remembering that they used several raw eggs (*gasp*) in the recipe, she ran full speed, dropping a half-changed baby on her husband, to prevent her son from eating the batter. She was proud to realize that her son now has an aversion to eating cookies of any type. Stupid government puppet.

I prayed for deadly food poisoning while I ate my lunch.

The moral of this story is that I don't need the government to tell me any of the following things:
~Washing my hands is a good idea.
~Cleaning food before using it in my resturaunt is a good idea.
~Storing food at safe temps is a good idea.
~Wearing seatbelts is a good idea.
~Not wearing helmets is stupid.
~Driving drunk or recklessly is a bad idea.
~Smoking is a stupid thing to do to your lungs and it annoys others.
~Drugs are bad, mmm'kay?

Jesus Christ in a water bottle, I fucking hate people!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I Love Squirrels

And I haven't seen nearly enough of them this year.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I Hate Living Statues

I'm in Columbus, oh joy. My Mom and I are here on a mini buying trip for the shop. I am amazed at how smoothly everything went. Here in under 3 hours, a focused 4 hours at the marketplace, checked into the hotel by 6, fed by 7, and ready for bed! Yeah, it's 8. Whatever, I'm tired. Too bad I'll still probably be up until midnight. I hope I remembered my book.

Tomorrow, we just need to go back to the stores we want to order from and be on our way back to the 'Burgh. I'll be back in plenty of time for Adam's birthday carnival. I accidentally stumbled upon 2 super presents at a rest stop earlier. I won't say what they are in case he's snooping around in here.

I saw the creepiest thing ever today. There was a living statue in one of the shop doorways. I have to admit I was completely fooled. When he moved, I all but ran away. I mean, we were heading somewhere else anyways, but I definitely picked up the pace. Haha. We stopped within his sight to do someting and he kept waving at me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Freaked me the hell out. A worker told me that he's infamous and extremely well-payed. It's definitely an incredible art, but not one to which I will ever get close enough for full appreciation.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I Love Yet Another Fun Weekend

I had a blast this usual!

Friday was a small party for Robb's b-day. Thanks to Jen for hosting. I encountered a disappointment that led me to the realization that I have it pretty good. I have this lamp that I got at Target. Several times, Robb has mentioned that he likes it. That was my super gift idea for his b-day because he's not the easiest friend to buy for. I went to Target only to discover that the bastard is DISCONTINUED. Freaking thing is still displayed up on the shelf. Grrrrrr. I was heartbroken. So, I settled for the Metalocalypse DVD, which he loved anyway. But, yeah, if that is a major let down in my book, then I should never complain. Hold me to it! Just cut me some slack if I'm hormonal, because then shit is totally whacked in my dome.

Saturday was a fundraiser party at the Concordia Club in Carnegie. My friend's little sis has cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. I can't afford our meager medical bills, so I can imagine how expensive this all must be for them. They had a golf outing which raised over 6 thousand dollars! That's incredible. A bunch of us made it down to the club for an after-party. There were remnants of a chinese auction and also a donation box, so I hope they raised lots more by the end of the night. It was a really great time and kinda like highschool reunion - take two. I saw a lot of folks I haven't seen in years, including an old neighbor of mine that I haven't seen since we were 7. He was hammered and hilarious. I swear to God he must have given me a thousand high fives for being so "cool and fun." I wasn't paying much attention to him, honestly, and kept sneaking away when I could. Poor kid seems to have no concept of "personal space." Haha. Whatever, good times.

Sunday was the Poison concert. After the late night on Saturday, I was astonished at how flawlessly we pulled together a tailgate. Guess that's what happens when a bunch of people have been partying together for so many years. The fun-sectors of our brains have psychically fused into a party machine. Evan even used the carpet remnant - until now a permanent fixture on our front porch - to line his truck. It was truly maximum comfort. The show itself would have been a lot more enjoyable, but it was cold and rainy...and some of us were chemically enhanced...shhhhh, don't tell. The government would have you believe we aren't capable of making such decisions for ourselves. I actually enjoyed Dokken's show more than Poison. Bret had "laryngitis." Evan swears that was the story last time he saw them. Speaking of Evan, he rocked his little heart out through all the cold and the rain. I didn't realize how big of a Poison fan he had been in youth. Pretty cute, actually.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I Love Makin' Necklaces

Here are the other things I made last week. Honestly, nothing I am in love with. Making things just makes me happy. Can't all be masterpieces.

For Summer, before it's gone...

For the kids...

To keep cool in the heat...

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I Hate My Boring Mailbox

I pretty much love all of these and would proudly sport them in my yard. Especially the blue mannequin, though she would be better if she were purple. And the R2D2 may not be a personal mailbox, but I feel that it had to be posted.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

I Love Looking Like a Kid

I met my new favorite person today. His name is Dan. The older I get, the nicer it is to hear that I look like a youngster. Earlier today, I was working with this fellow delivery driver that I had not yet met. Unlike the two fellas that I work with on a regular basis, this one is a regular chatty-Kathy. Somehow, age came up. I said I was 29 and he freaked out. If I had perceived the slightest bit of bullshit, I wouldn't have taken it as a compliment. It seemed to be a sincere shock. Haha. Cute kid...I think I'll keep him.

On Wednesday I went to see the Titanic artifact exhibit at the Carnegie Science Center Sports Works. It's incredible, go see it. I command you. My Mom has been talking about it since she first sniffed on the air that it was coming to the 'Burgh. Now, I knew that she had a Titanic obsession with all things Titanic, but I had no clue the extent of her knowledge. I must admit; I was impressed! She was spitting knowledge at me left and right. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but I learned more from her than from the exhibit itself. My Mom is amazing.

The best thing about this week is that I actually got back into my jewelry cave of wonders. I made a few new things, but mostly just fixed things for people. I'm good like that. It might take me 2 years to do it, but I will fix your broken jewels. My favorite new piece is called "Pulse." I love purple. I even snuck a skull in there.

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